This week, Baby is the size of a: navel orange
Total weight gain/loss: don't know
Sleep: I am still quite tired, but I am blaming much of that on school starting up. I have been having interesting dreams - I don't mind the silly ones, but the ones where I wake up breathing hard and petrified are not so fun!
Best moment this week: one of my students compared me to a picture of an overweight mummy on his worksheet, and another pointed to by belly and said "your baby SURE is getting BIG!" It's been funny to see their reactions and thoughts about the baby.
Movement: still not feeling any movement yet
Food cravings: I no longer desire pickles in the extreme way that I did....I do not NEED pickle juice anymore...which is good, cause that was weird! I do crave ice cream, particularly mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Symptoms: Still vomiting without meds in the morning; still not needing them the rest of the day. I have been having bursts of energy throughout the day during which I try to accomplish as much as possible.
Belly Button in or out: still in - I have a majorly "in" belly button, I will be surprised if it pops
Milestones: The baby can squint, grimmace, and suck it's thumb (no, baby!). Baby is making faces quite frequently as his/her brain is sending lots of messages to the face. Baby is making red blood cells, bile, and urine.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Baby Hoosier :: 14 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: lemon
Total weight gain/loss: weighed in at last week's appointment, I have gained 4 pounds for a total of -2 pounds while pregnant
Sleep: sleep continues to be AMAZING!
Best moment this week: At my doctor's appointment, we listened to the baby's heartbeat - that is a sound I don't think I will ever tire of listening to!
Movement: apparently baby is moving like crazy right now - I just can't feel it.
Food cravings: pickles! I'm not a huge fan of meat but will eat it when it's got some serious flavor such as salsa!
Symptoms: Nausea is present, though starting to subside. My pelvic joint has been hurting (it did before pregnancy, it's just gotten more constant now) - the doctor did some PT on it and gave me some exercises which have been helping it to feel much better! In general, I am beginning to feel really good :)
Belly Button in or out: in
Milestones: The baby now has fingerprints. Its body is growing and becoming more proportional - the head is now only 1/3 of the baby's total length.
And, the baby bump, Cole says it doesn't really look bigger than two weeks ago - but being the one trying to put on pants in the morning - I can tell you it is getting bigger:
Total weight gain/loss: weighed in at last week's appointment, I have gained 4 pounds for a total of -2 pounds while pregnant
Sleep: sleep continues to be AMAZING!
Best moment this week: At my doctor's appointment, we listened to the baby's heartbeat - that is a sound I don't think I will ever tire of listening to!
Movement: apparently baby is moving like crazy right now - I just can't feel it.
Food cravings: pickles! I'm not a huge fan of meat but will eat it when it's got some serious flavor such as salsa!
Symptoms: Nausea is present, though starting to subside. My pelvic joint has been hurting (it did before pregnancy, it's just gotten more constant now) - the doctor did some PT on it and gave me some exercises which have been helping it to feel much better! In general, I am beginning to feel really good :)
Belly Button in or out: in
Milestones: The baby now has fingerprints. Its body is growing and becoming more proportional - the head is now only 1/3 of the baby's total length.
And, the baby bump, Cole says it doesn't really look bigger than two weeks ago - but being the one trying to put on pants in the morning - I can tell you it is getting bigger:
A perk of pregnancy that started showing up several weeks ago - curly hair! I am loving it (and loving being able to go from bed to in the car on the way to work in 30 minutes!).
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Baby Hoosier :: 13 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: peach
Total weight gain/loss: we will find out later this week
Sleep: I have been having more energy during the day, but still fall fast asleep very early in the evening.
Best moment this week: this has been a fun week of telling people about the baby....my coworkers at the special education coop, my coworkers at the elementary school, and dear friends of ours.
Movement: none yet...I cannot wait!
Food cravings: pickle juice is holding strong...we may or may not have a gallon of pickles and juice in the fridge :)
Symptoms: I am starting to feel really good - hello second trimester energy?
Belly Button in or out: very in
Milestones: The baby is opening and closing its fists, starting to use its mouth to suck, and its intestines (which have grown into the umbilical cord) are moving into position in its abdomen - I find myself praying over those little intestines pretty regularly. Hopefully this little one will not inherit celiac disease.
Total weight gain/loss: we will find out later this week
Sleep: I have been having more energy during the day, but still fall fast asleep very early in the evening.
Best moment this week: this has been a fun week of telling people about the baby....my coworkers at the special education coop, my coworkers at the elementary school, and dear friends of ours.
Movement: none yet...I cannot wait!
Food cravings: pickle juice is holding strong...we may or may not have a gallon of pickles and juice in the fridge :)
Symptoms: I am starting to feel really good - hello second trimester energy?
Belly Button in or out: very in
Milestones: The baby is opening and closing its fists, starting to use its mouth to suck, and its intestines (which have grown into the umbilical cord) are moving into position in its abdomen - I find myself praying over those little intestines pretty regularly. Hopefully this little one will not inherit celiac disease.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Baby Hoosier :: 12 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: plum
Total weight gain/loss:
Sleep: still very tired early in the evening, but no more naps!
Best moment this week: realizing that there were more "not nauseous days than "nauseous"...maybe this morning sickness is almost over!
Movement: none yet...a few more weeks and there will hopefully be something to put here!
Food cravings: PICKLES!! or just the juice - I don't actually need to eat anything! but if there were pickle juice flavored hard candies - I would pay almost any price for those!
Symptoms: some nausea, but overall feeling much better - yay!
Belly Button in or out: still very in
Milestones: tooth buds are starting to grow, some bones are starting to harden, and baby is hiccuping as his/her diaphragm is developing
And since my belly is starting to show (especially in the evening!), here's a picture (taken in the evening at 12 weeks and 2 days). I swear, my belly was completely flat at the start of the summer. There's just nowhere in my short-waisted body for the baby to grow:
Total weight gain/loss:
Sleep: still very tired early in the evening, but no more naps!
Best moment this week: realizing that there were more "not nauseous days than "nauseous"...maybe this morning sickness is almost over!
Movement: none yet...a few more weeks and there will hopefully be something to put here!
Food cravings: PICKLES!! or just the juice - I don't actually need to eat anything! but if there were pickle juice flavored hard candies - I would pay almost any price for those!
Symptoms: some nausea, but overall feeling much better - yay!
Belly Button in or out: still very in
Milestones: tooth buds are starting to grow, some bones are starting to harden, and baby is hiccuping as his/her diaphragm is developing
And since my belly is starting to show (especially in the evening!), here's a picture (taken in the evening at 12 weeks and 2 days). I swear, my belly was completely flat at the start of the summer. There's just nowhere in my short-waisted body for the baby to grow:
Baby Hoosier :: 11 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: lime
Total weight gain/loss: we don't have a scale (except on the wii), but based on clothing fit, I would say I gained some weight this week
Sleep: Still falling asleep super early in the evenings. But, I have been able to give up midday naps - which is good since school starts in two weeks.
Best moment this week: Oh man - this was a great week!
Last Tuesday I had an ultrasound (the last one for a while) and baby was showing off! The heart was visibly beating, both lobes of the brain were visible, and the umbilical cord was visible. Several times the baby decided to really show off for Mama and flex its arms and legs - which was SO COOL to see. Everything looks super healthy.
Mom came up over the weekend and we worked on the baby's room. She made a dust ruffle and some sheets for the crib. We worked together to make a boppy cover, a changing pad cover, and to cover a lamp. The room is starting to look so cute and it was fun to spend some time crafting with my mom.
Baby also received its first gift this week from one of the sweet ladies that I work with. A brightly colored sock monkey, some sock monkey booties, and some ABC shoes - good things to cover those little toes in cold, cold February!
Movement: I got to watch a lot of movement, but unfortunately it will still be a while before I can feel it.
Food cravings: not many cravings, a lot of aversions still. However, I am starting to be able to, and actually NEED, to eat on a fairly regular basis. I have been thoroughly enjoying hard boiled farm-fresh eggs and chex cereal for breakfast. I sometimes continue to crave green olives.
Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, and the start of a little baby bump (especially if I need to go to the bathroom - like first thing in the morning!)
Belly Button in or out: in
Milestones: The baby is in the fetal stage now, and has been for a week. All major organs are in place and now just need to continue growing and developing. Baby has fingernails and peach fuzz is beginning to grow all over its body.
Total weight gain/loss: we don't have a scale (except on the wii), but based on clothing fit, I would say I gained some weight this week
Sleep: Still falling asleep super early in the evenings. But, I have been able to give up midday naps - which is good since school starts in two weeks.
Best moment this week: Oh man - this was a great week!
Last Tuesday I had an ultrasound (the last one for a while) and baby was showing off! The heart was visibly beating, both lobes of the brain were visible, and the umbilical cord was visible. Several times the baby decided to really show off for Mama and flex its arms and legs - which was SO COOL to see. Everything looks super healthy.
Food cravings: not many cravings, a lot of aversions still. However, I am starting to be able to, and actually NEED, to eat on a fairly regular basis. I have been thoroughly enjoying hard boiled farm-fresh eggs and chex cereal for breakfast. I sometimes continue to crave green olives.
Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, and the start of a little baby bump (especially if I need to go to the bathroom - like first thing in the morning!)
Belly Button in or out: in
Milestones: The baby is in the fetal stage now, and has been for a week. All major organs are in place and now just need to continue growing and developing. Baby has fingernails and peach fuzz is beginning to grow all over its body.
Baby Hoosier :: 10 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: fig
Total weight gain/loss: still -6 pounds this pregnancy
Sleep: I cannot seem to stay awake past about 8:00 - EVER!
Best moment this week: Cole and I attended a worship leader conference/concert with Vertical Church Band and Matt Maher this last week; too bad baby could not hear & experience any of the worship going on in the room. As the days go by, I am amazed that there will soon be a little person here to guide towards faith. We are fiercely praying that this baby will come to know, love, serve, and worship God. How amazing will it be to someday not only share in the worship experience with my husband, but with my child as well.
My parents went to a family reunion in Texas with my dad's side of the family. Dad had a plan for how he was going to share the news that he was going to be a Grandpa. Instead, on the way to the restaurant, my youngest brother (10) shared the news without understanding that it was a secret :) Oh well, everybody was excited anyways!
Movement: baby is moving, I just can't feel it yet
Food cravings: lemon heads (good for calming the tummy), green olives
Symptoms: nausea & upset stomach, pants just don't fit well - and if they are at all tight, they make me feel even more nauseous
Belly Button in or out: in, and hopefully for a while
Milestones: Baby has working arm joints. Vital organs are all working and fingernails are starting to grow. Baby is swallowing amniotic fluid and kicking.
Total weight gain/loss: still -6 pounds this pregnancy
Sleep: I cannot seem to stay awake past about 8:00 - EVER!
Best moment this week: Cole and I attended a worship leader conference/concert with Vertical Church Band and Matt Maher this last week; too bad baby could not hear & experience any of the worship going on in the room. As the days go by, I am amazed that there will soon be a little person here to guide towards faith. We are fiercely praying that this baby will come to know, love, serve, and worship God. How amazing will it be to someday not only share in the worship experience with my husband, but with my child as well.
My parents went to a family reunion in Texas with my dad's side of the family. Dad had a plan for how he was going to share the news that he was going to be a Grandpa. Instead, on the way to the restaurant, my youngest brother (10) shared the news without understanding that it was a secret :) Oh well, everybody was excited anyways!
Movement: baby is moving, I just can't feel it yet
Food cravings: lemon heads (good for calming the tummy), green olives
Symptoms: nausea & upset stomach, pants just don't fit well - and if they are at all tight, they make me feel even more nauseous
Belly Button in or out: in, and hopefully for a while
Milestones: Baby has working arm joints. Vital organs are all working and fingernails are starting to grow. Baby is swallowing amniotic fluid and kicking.
Baby Hoosier :: 9 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: grape
Total weight gain/loss: still no weight change; -6 pounds for the pregnancy thus far
Sleep: The weird and un-followable dreams continue! But, I sleep well during the night and am still enjoying naps in the day.
Best moment this week: We had an ultrasound last week - the baby has grown so much in the two weeks since our last appointment. Baby continued to measure right on track and his/her heartbeat was 160-something - much higher than two weeks ago.
At that appointment, we "graduated" from the infertility clinic for pre-natal care and starting this week we will begin seeing my doctor (a DO who is Cole's doctor and my doctor; he will be delivering the baby and then will be the baby's pediatrician). I like my doctor a lot and cannot wait to be back in his care and start talking about his plan for the remainder of this pregnancy!
Movement: None yet - can't wait!
Food cravings: Still not craving foods - most foods sound awful until I start eating - then I usually find that I am starving!
Symptoms: morning sickness is still decently controlled by the medicine, which I am very grateful for! still very tired. pants are getting a bit tight :)
Belly Button in or out: in - and hopefully for a while!
Milestones: Baby is out of the embryonic stage and into the fetal stage. Baby's fingers and toes are no longer webbed!
Total weight gain/loss: still no weight change; -6 pounds for the pregnancy thus far
Sleep: The weird and un-followable dreams continue! But, I sleep well during the night and am still enjoying naps in the day.
Best moment this week: We had an ultrasound last week - the baby has grown so much in the two weeks since our last appointment. Baby continued to measure right on track and his/her heartbeat was 160-something - much higher than two weeks ago.
Movement: None yet - can't wait!
Food cravings: Still not craving foods - most foods sound awful until I start eating - then I usually find that I am starving!
Symptoms: morning sickness is still decently controlled by the medicine, which I am very grateful for! still very tired. pants are getting a bit tight :)
Belly Button in or out: in - and hopefully for a while!
Milestones: Baby is out of the embryonic stage and into the fetal stage. Baby's fingers and toes are no longer webbed!
Baby Hoosier :: 8 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: kidney bean
Total weight gain/loss: no change since 6 weeks
Sleep: I generally sleep well, but am starting to wake up in the middle of the night.
Best moment this week: telling Great-Grandma Stehr and Great-Aunt Nancy & Great Uncle Geoff
Movement: apparently baby is moving a lot; just can't feel it yet
Food cravings: chipotle burritos and store bought pizza - thanks to my Dad and Dad-in-Law for meeting those cravings! and, sour gummies are so good for nausea
Symptoms: morning sickness (much helped by meds!), exhaustion, bloating, and some really confusing dreams - they aren't scary at all, but they have NO story line when I think about them while awake!
Belly Button in or out: in, probably for a while
Milestones: Baby has little fingers and toes starting to make their appearance. Baby is losing it's tail and starting to move around like crazy - just can't wait to feel it!
Total weight gain/loss: no change since 6 weeks
Sleep: I generally sleep well, but am starting to wake up in the middle of the night.
Best moment this week: telling Great-Grandma Stehr and Great-Aunt Nancy & Great Uncle Geoff
Movement: apparently baby is moving a lot; just can't feel it yet
Food cravings: chipotle burritos and store bought pizza - thanks to my Dad and Dad-in-Law for meeting those cravings! and, sour gummies are so good for nausea
Symptoms: morning sickness (much helped by meds!), exhaustion, bloating, and some really confusing dreams - they aren't scary at all, but they have NO story line when I think about them while awake!
Belly Button in or out: in, probably for a while
Milestones: Baby has little fingers and toes starting to make their appearance. Baby is losing it's tail and starting to move around like crazy - just can't wait to feel it!
Baby Hoosier :: 7 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: blueberry
Total weight gain/loss: -6 pounds thus far (boo! morning sickness)
Sleep: I've started having some weird dreams lately, which disrupt sleep slightly...odd. But, 20 minute power naps keep me going through the day.
Best moment this week: We had a six week sonogram on Friday June 18th. Baby measured in at 6 1/2 weeks - and we heard his/her heartbeat!! It was simply amazing! The heart is beating at 119 beats per minute.
We told my siblings about the baby this week! Jordan was staying with us and instantly wanted to watch Father of the Bride 2. Zach was a dean at camp, and just kept repeating that he was "on cloud nine!" Lauren was super excited and is already working on planning for her first trip to meet the baby next spring.
We told Matt and Heather, Cole's brother and his wife, by asking their son if he's ready to have a cousin to play with in Kansas City in February. He didn't really have anything to say (at 10 months) but his parents were so excited.
Movement: none yet...can't wait!
Food cravings: still just aversions. sour candy is usually pretty good at calming the tummy, though. Cole went to Walmart to pick up some rice cakes and sour candy for me....he bought one of every sour candy he could find that was gluten free....LOVE that boy!
Symptoms: morning sickness, day sickness, night sickness....only in pregnancy does lots of throwing up = healthy baby; we are praising God for a healthy baby! The doctor prescribed medication to decrease nausea as I was becoming very dehydrated. It has helped so much in the last two days and I am feeling much better with some nutrients and LIQUID in my system!
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for a while!
Milestones: Baby is working on growing arms and legs. As well as the sensory organs - honestly baby is growing so fast and in so many ways each week that it's hard to even keep track!
Total weight gain/loss: -6 pounds thus far (boo! morning sickness)
Sleep: I've started having some weird dreams lately, which disrupt sleep slightly...odd. But, 20 minute power naps keep me going through the day.
Best moment this week: We had a six week sonogram on Friday June 18th. Baby measured in at 6 1/2 weeks - and we heard his/her heartbeat!! It was simply amazing! The heart is beating at 119 beats per minute.
We told Matt and Heather, Cole's brother and his wife, by asking their son if he's ready to have a cousin to play with in Kansas City in February. He didn't really have anything to say (at 10 months) but his parents were so excited.
Movement: none yet...can't wait!
Food cravings: still just aversions. sour candy is usually pretty good at calming the tummy, though. Cole went to Walmart to pick up some rice cakes and sour candy for me....he bought one of every sour candy he could find that was gluten free....LOVE that boy!
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for a while!
Milestones: Baby is working on growing arms and legs. As well as the sensory organs - honestly baby is growing so fast and in so many ways each week that it's hard to even keep track!
Baby Hoosier :: 6 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: corn kernal
Total weight gain/loss: haven't really checked
Sleep: I am getting great sleep at night! Usually from 8:30-5:45!
Best moment this week: We watched videos online of how and when the baby will grow - it's so amazing how in 40 weeks it will go from 2 cells to a baby. How can someone understand this process and not believe in a creator?
Movement: baby is still too small
Food cravings: yogurt and juicy fruits-all cold! no cravings, but an aversion to most foods
Symptoms: Well, hello morning sickness! It started out with just a queasy feeling for most of the day and has turned into great difficulty keeping anything down - like mother like daughter :)
Belly Button in or out: in - hopefully for a while
Milestones: Baby's heart is starting to beat & his/her mouth, ears, and nose are starting to form!
Total weight gain/loss: haven't really checked
Sleep: I am getting great sleep at night! Usually from 8:30-5:45!
Best moment this week: We watched videos online of how and when the baby will grow - it's so amazing how in 40 weeks it will go from 2 cells to a baby. How can someone understand this process and not believe in a creator?
Movement: baby is still too small
Food cravings: yogurt and juicy fruits-all cold! no cravings, but an aversion to most foods
Symptoms: Well, hello morning sickness! It started out with just a queasy feeling for most of the day and has turned into great difficulty keeping anything down - like mother like daughter :)
Belly Button in or out: in - hopefully for a while
Milestones: Baby's heart is starting to beat & his/her mouth, ears, and nose are starting to form!
Baby Hoosier :: 5 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: sesame seed
Total weight gain/loss: 0 pounds (I think, I haven't checked)
Sleep: 20 minute power naps are my new best friend :)
Best moment this week: worship night at church - praising God for the absolute MIRACLE of this baby!
Movement: none yet
Food cravings: I can't seem to get enough ice cold water or V8 juice.
Symptoms: brushing my teeth now MAJORLY triggers my gag reflex; I wake up ready for a nap or ready to go back to bed
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for a while!
Milestones: baby's spinal tube is starting to develop and will soon become a brain and spinal cord
Total weight gain/loss: 0 pounds (I think, I haven't checked)
Sleep: 20 minute power naps are my new best friend :)
Best moment this week: worship night at church - praising God for the absolute MIRACLE of this baby!
Movement: none yet
Food cravings: I can't seem to get enough ice cold water or V8 juice.
Symptoms: brushing my teeth now MAJORLY triggers my gag reflex; I wake up ready for a nap or ready to go back to bed
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for a while!
Milestones: baby's spinal tube is starting to develop and will soon become a brain and spinal cord
Baby Hoosier :: 4 Weeks
This week, Baby is the size of a: poppy seed
Total weight gain/loss: 0 lbs
Sleep: I want to sleep ALL THE TIME. Definitely by 8:00 pm.
Best moment this week: Finding out (Monday) that Baby Hoosier does, in fact, exist. Telling our parents was also super exciting.
Movement: Nope.
Food cravings: I don't really like sweets this week.
Symptoms: bloating, tired
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for quite a while still
Milestones: We're pregnant! That's a pretty big milestone!
Total weight gain/loss: 0 lbs
Sleep: I want to sleep ALL THE TIME. Definitely by 8:00 pm.
Best moment this week: Finding out (Monday) that Baby Hoosier does, in fact, exist. Telling our parents was also super exciting.
Movement: Nope.
Food cravings: I don't really like sweets this week.
Symptoms: bloating, tired
Belly Button in or out: in, hopefully for quite a while still
Milestones: We're pregnant! That's a pretty big milestone!
...then comes baby in a baby carriage.
I have been ready to be a Mama since I was seven. Maybe six, maybe younger. It's always been what I knew I wanted to do in life...to grow up to be a wife and a mom.
When we got married, we said we wanted to start having children when I was going into my fifth year of teaching. After much prayer and consideration, we felt that this was God's will for our family.
We were planners and we saw no reason why that plan would not work.
Fast forward a few years, and I'm finished with college and masters work. I'm in my third year of teaching. I recently switched doctors because my doctor did not seemed concerned about the issues I was sharing with him. The intense pain in my abdomen upon eating has increased, my digestive system is all out of whack, I am gaining weight for no apparent reason, and I'm exhausted all the time. Add to that that I've been experiencing "that time of the month" for the past four weeks straight - I had enough and went to see my new doctor.
To say that he was concerned would be an understatement. If it's possible to run a test, I think it was run on me that day. A week later, I was back to discuss the results and where we would move from here.
The blood tests confirmed - celiac disease. Celiac disease was slowly destroying my digestive system from the inside out. A gluten free diet would need to be implemented starting today and for the rest of my life. But, one of the rarely discussed side effects of being so sick from celiac - is infertility. Something my recently whack-job menstrual cycles had me worried about.
That same day, my doctor also proposed a diagnosis of Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). To diagnose PCOS officially, you need to do an ultrasound of the ovaries, but I had all of the classic externally visible signs - irregular cycles, male pattern hair growth (on the chin and belly button....that makes you feel sexy!), and terrible acne. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility in women.
Great! Two potential causes of infertility in one day - that dream of starting a family in a few short months felt like it was shattering all around me.
My doctor and I discussed a plan to try to heal my body:
1) Gluten Free Diet - doing this would drastically improve the health of my body. And, doing this could reverse the infertility effect of celiac. (I wrote extensively about my celiac healing here.)
2) Chart my cycles for at least the next year to see what is happening with my reproductive system. From there we could get a better idea of what my body does naturally, if PCOS might be the cause of my problems, and what we would need to do to allow Cole and I to start a family.
So, armed with nothing by my super-ability of researching things to death, I left the doctors office with a mixed feeling of relief (we might have an answer!) and trepidation (there's a whole lot going wrong!).
I poured myself into research - first about celiac disease and eating gluten free - because it had the most immediate need to be dealt with. I began implementing a gluten free diet and my digestive system began to heal.
Thanks to a great friend and much more research I learned to chart my cycles and secondary fertility signs. It was official - my body was a wreck! My cycles were coming more regularly than before beginning to heal from celiac (now it was only 20-40 days between cycles instead of 7 days-4 months). But nothing was happening in my ovaries; I was not ovulating. That's kinda necessary to make a baby.
In the winter of my fourth year of teaching, I gathered all of my charts and went back to the doctor. He confirmed that yes, there was a serious problem here. And we started talking about options. First, we talked about diet for women with PCOS. PCOS effects insulin and so food is a big deal in helping the body to operate at it's highest potential ability and to stave of secondary conditions which are very common. Because dealing with infertility wasn't enough - I found out in my research that I am at a much higher risk for diabetes and cancer as a result of PCOS (yay!). I had already researched this quite a bit and begun to make even more drastic changes in my diet. We also started trying a medication that helps some women with PCOS to begin ovulating by affecting insulin levels.
Being on that medication was NOT FUN! Because of my already healthy diet, I did not need a medication to help control my blood sugar and my blood sugar levels began dropping so low that I was tired, physically slow, and got quite dizzy on a very regular basis. It was determined that all of my work on my diet was helping to control my blood sugar quite well (one point for my research skills!) and at my next doctor's appointment, I was taken off those drugs. At that same appointment I was discharged with the official diagnosis of infertility and a referral to see the infertility specialist at the hospital.
A few weeks later, on what was a very dark and rainy Kansas morning (funny how the weather sometimes matches your current feelings), I pulled into the hospital parking lot, with shaking hands wandered my way to the fourth floor, and into the infertility clinic. I met with a nurse practitioner. She was a very very kind person and gently explained PCOS in further detail; we discussed in further detail diet and lifestyle recommendations and also diabetes and cancer. We also discussed options for how Cole and I could begin the process of starting our family. We would be able to begin by using the drug Clomid to convince my body that it was time to develop an egg and release it. I was told that when we were ready to start, to call the clinic (on a certain day in my cycle) and they would send in the prescription. As I walked out of the clinic, I felt on one hand overwhelmed by all the information I had just been given, but more than that, I felt relieved. These people specialized in people like me - in that clinic, I was "normal". They had a plan and we had options!
Several weeks later, I called the office and started medication. I had heard from some friends that being on Clomid made them very emotional. I was ready to ride the roller coaster of emotions (seeing as how I am an incredibly emotional person, anyways!). But surprisingly, I was less emotional than normal. It was kind of a nice change. Part way through the month, I went into the office for a sonogram to see how well the Clomid worked (and, in case I had developed like 8 eggs - to know we shouldn't try for a baby this month!). The first thing the nurse practitioner said while looking at my ovaries was "Wow! Many, many cysts! You definitely have the official diagnosis of PCOS." That was quickly followed by a finger point and a "Do you see that? That's a fully developed egg ready to be released!" I was given a shot of hCG (to trigger my body to ovulate) and told "good luck!"
The day that I ovulated, I was very aware that something was happening that I had never experienced before. All of a sudden I knew what other women were talking about when they said they get very grumpy around that time of the month. Holy cow! I had never felt so grumpy in my life! Just another confirmation that this was not something my body typically did on it's own.
Two weeks later....I woke up early on the morning I had been told to take my pregnancy test. My eyes were filled with tears; I was so nervous and did not want to do this. I have several friends who had been through this process before and I knew that it had taken them many months, sometimes years, to get a positive pregnancy test and I wasn't sure that I was ready to handle having this experience month after month for the next however long. I prayed long and hard (praying for courage through this journey had become a very constant prayer of mine over the last several months). Then, I took the test.
I sat in the next room, where I could not see what was happening, and waited the full time. When I went in, I was fairly certain what I was seeing was a positive. I was sure it was just wishful thinking and checked it, looked at the wall, checked it, looked at the wall....several times. Then I went, at 5:45, and shook Cole awake. "I just took a pregnancy test. I think it's positive but I can't be sure. You HAVE to come check this. I have to know I'm not just crazy." Poor boy - I think I pulled him out of REM sleep. But, he confirmed what I saw - it looked like a positive.
I was so happy, but had to keep that feeling in check. For one, Cole's dad was staying at our house and we weren't going to tell him yet. And two, I needed to have a blood test done to confirm the pregnancy; it could just be a false positive. I called the clinic and had my blood taken at 8:00 am. Then waited all day - until about 3:30 to hear back that, indeed, we were pregnant!!
We told Cole's dad, we called his mom, and my parents.
And I cried....a lot! Some very, very happy tears!
I felt a bit like we had cheated. We conceived in one month of treatment - I don't know anybody who has seen that happen. It was a miracle to say the very least.
God had worked his plan that he had set in our hearts years before out in our lives. It was not AT ALL the way I expected. But, wow, did it stretch me. And teach me to depend on him. And to release any small amount of control that I thought (keyword: thought) I had over my life and surrender myself and my desires fully to him.
--------
The first trimester was a difficult one - I was very sick from five weeks to twelve weeks. But, every time I threw up - through the tears (because that's what I do when I'm sick - I cry - surprise!), I was smiling. Lots of vomiting means lots of pregnancy hormones. And lots of pregnancy hormones means healthy baby. And healthy baby was a constant reminder of the AMAZING MIRACLE God had just worked in my body to create a new life.
--------
As I was going through this journey, I was very careful to only reveal parts of the story of what was going on in my body to friends and family. Very, very few people knew the whole story of what was happening in our lives over the last several years. It felt so private, so hard, and I didn't know that I wanted to share how defective I was. Because that was how I felt - defective, broken. Like everything about this body was wrong.
But, from where I am now - seeing the miracle God worked through that time - I feel like I can't help but share my story! It's a miracle how God can take a desperately broken body and form within it a new life.
But that's what he did in us through Christ, isn't it?
I've always been the type of person who imagined God seeing all the sin in my life and being constantly disgusted with me; and I have to constantly preach the gospel to myself - that God sees Christ when he looks at me. That he worked a miracle in my desperately broken and defective soul when he created new life in me through Christ. That I am a new creation!
So this baby, while it may never know what a profound effect its existence has in its Mama's heart, will forever be in our lives a testimony to the redeeming work that Christ did on the cross. This baby will forever be a tangible reminder of the gospel - that God can take something so broken, like a sinful human soul, and create a beautiful new life.
When we got married, we said we wanted to start having children when I was going into my fifth year of teaching. After much prayer and consideration, we felt that this was God's will for our family.
We were planners and we saw no reason why that plan would not work.
Fast forward a few years, and I'm finished with college and masters work. I'm in my third year of teaching. I recently switched doctors because my doctor did not seemed concerned about the issues I was sharing with him. The intense pain in my abdomen upon eating has increased, my digestive system is all out of whack, I am gaining weight for no apparent reason, and I'm exhausted all the time. Add to that that I've been experiencing "that time of the month" for the past four weeks straight - I had enough and went to see my new doctor.
To say that he was concerned would be an understatement. If it's possible to run a test, I think it was run on me that day. A week later, I was back to discuss the results and where we would move from here.
The blood tests confirmed - celiac disease. Celiac disease was slowly destroying my digestive system from the inside out. A gluten free diet would need to be implemented starting today and for the rest of my life. But, one of the rarely discussed side effects of being so sick from celiac - is infertility. Something my recently whack-job menstrual cycles had me worried about.
That same day, my doctor also proposed a diagnosis of Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). To diagnose PCOS officially, you need to do an ultrasound of the ovaries, but I had all of the classic externally visible signs - irregular cycles, male pattern hair growth (on the chin and belly button....that makes you feel sexy!), and terrible acne. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility in women.
Great! Two potential causes of infertility in one day - that dream of starting a family in a few short months felt like it was shattering all around me.
My doctor and I discussed a plan to try to heal my body:
1) Gluten Free Diet - doing this would drastically improve the health of my body. And, doing this could reverse the infertility effect of celiac. (I wrote extensively about my celiac healing here.)
2) Chart my cycles for at least the next year to see what is happening with my reproductive system. From there we could get a better idea of what my body does naturally, if PCOS might be the cause of my problems, and what we would need to do to allow Cole and I to start a family.
So, armed with nothing by my super-ability of researching things to death, I left the doctors office with a mixed feeling of relief (we might have an answer!) and trepidation (there's a whole lot going wrong!).
I poured myself into research - first about celiac disease and eating gluten free - because it had the most immediate need to be dealt with. I began implementing a gluten free diet and my digestive system began to heal.
Thanks to a great friend and much more research I learned to chart my cycles and secondary fertility signs. It was official - my body was a wreck! My cycles were coming more regularly than before beginning to heal from celiac (now it was only 20-40 days between cycles instead of 7 days-4 months). But nothing was happening in my ovaries; I was not ovulating. That's kinda necessary to make a baby.
In the winter of my fourth year of teaching, I gathered all of my charts and went back to the doctor. He confirmed that yes, there was a serious problem here. And we started talking about options. First, we talked about diet for women with PCOS. PCOS effects insulin and so food is a big deal in helping the body to operate at it's highest potential ability and to stave of secondary conditions which are very common. Because dealing with infertility wasn't enough - I found out in my research that I am at a much higher risk for diabetes and cancer as a result of PCOS (yay!). I had already researched this quite a bit and begun to make even more drastic changes in my diet. We also started trying a medication that helps some women with PCOS to begin ovulating by affecting insulin levels.
Being on that medication was NOT FUN! Because of my already healthy diet, I did not need a medication to help control my blood sugar and my blood sugar levels began dropping so low that I was tired, physically slow, and got quite dizzy on a very regular basis. It was determined that all of my work on my diet was helping to control my blood sugar quite well (one point for my research skills!) and at my next doctor's appointment, I was taken off those drugs. At that same appointment I was discharged with the official diagnosis of infertility and a referral to see the infertility specialist at the hospital.
A few weeks later, on what was a very dark and rainy Kansas morning (funny how the weather sometimes matches your current feelings), I pulled into the hospital parking lot, with shaking hands wandered my way to the fourth floor, and into the infertility clinic. I met with a nurse practitioner. She was a very very kind person and gently explained PCOS in further detail; we discussed in further detail diet and lifestyle recommendations and also diabetes and cancer. We also discussed options for how Cole and I could begin the process of starting our family. We would be able to begin by using the drug Clomid to convince my body that it was time to develop an egg and release it. I was told that when we were ready to start, to call the clinic (on a certain day in my cycle) and they would send in the prescription. As I walked out of the clinic, I felt on one hand overwhelmed by all the information I had just been given, but more than that, I felt relieved. These people specialized in people like me - in that clinic, I was "normal". They had a plan and we had options!
Several weeks later, I called the office and started medication. I had heard from some friends that being on Clomid made them very emotional. I was ready to ride the roller coaster of emotions (seeing as how I am an incredibly emotional person, anyways!). But surprisingly, I was less emotional than normal. It was kind of a nice change. Part way through the month, I went into the office for a sonogram to see how well the Clomid worked (and, in case I had developed like 8 eggs - to know we shouldn't try for a baby this month!). The first thing the nurse practitioner said while looking at my ovaries was "Wow! Many, many cysts! You definitely have the official diagnosis of PCOS." That was quickly followed by a finger point and a "Do you see that? That's a fully developed egg ready to be released!" I was given a shot of hCG (to trigger my body to ovulate) and told "good luck!"
The day that I ovulated, I was very aware that something was happening that I had never experienced before. All of a sudden I knew what other women were talking about when they said they get very grumpy around that time of the month. Holy cow! I had never felt so grumpy in my life! Just another confirmation that this was not something my body typically did on it's own.
Two weeks later....I woke up early on the morning I had been told to take my pregnancy test. My eyes were filled with tears; I was so nervous and did not want to do this. I have several friends who had been through this process before and I knew that it had taken them many months, sometimes years, to get a positive pregnancy test and I wasn't sure that I was ready to handle having this experience month after month for the next however long. I prayed long and hard (praying for courage through this journey had become a very constant prayer of mine over the last several months). Then, I took the test.
I sat in the next room, where I could not see what was happening, and waited the full time. When I went in, I was fairly certain what I was seeing was a positive. I was sure it was just wishful thinking and checked it, looked at the wall, checked it, looked at the wall....several times. Then I went, at 5:45, and shook Cole awake. "I just took a pregnancy test. I think it's positive but I can't be sure. You HAVE to come check this. I have to know I'm not just crazy." Poor boy - I think I pulled him out of REM sleep. But, he confirmed what I saw - it looked like a positive.
I was so happy, but had to keep that feeling in check. For one, Cole's dad was staying at our house and we weren't going to tell him yet. And two, I needed to have a blood test done to confirm the pregnancy; it could just be a false positive. I called the clinic and had my blood taken at 8:00 am. Then waited all day - until about 3:30 to hear back that, indeed, we were pregnant!!
We told Cole's dad, we called his mom, and my parents.
And I cried....a lot! Some very, very happy tears!
I felt a bit like we had cheated. We conceived in one month of treatment - I don't know anybody who has seen that happen. It was a miracle to say the very least.
God had worked his plan that he had set in our hearts years before out in our lives. It was not AT ALL the way I expected. But, wow, did it stretch me. And teach me to depend on him. And to release any small amount of control that I thought (keyword: thought) I had over my life and surrender myself and my desires fully to him.
--------
The first trimester was a difficult one - I was very sick from five weeks to twelve weeks. But, every time I threw up - through the tears (because that's what I do when I'm sick - I cry - surprise!), I was smiling. Lots of vomiting means lots of pregnancy hormones. And lots of pregnancy hormones means healthy baby. And healthy baby was a constant reminder of the AMAZING MIRACLE God had just worked in my body to create a new life.
--------
As I was going through this journey, I was very careful to only reveal parts of the story of what was going on in my body to friends and family. Very, very few people knew the whole story of what was happening in our lives over the last several years. It felt so private, so hard, and I didn't know that I wanted to share how defective I was. Because that was how I felt - defective, broken. Like everything about this body was wrong.
But, from where I am now - seeing the miracle God worked through that time - I feel like I can't help but share my story! It's a miracle how God can take a desperately broken body and form within it a new life.
But that's what he did in us through Christ, isn't it?
I've always been the type of person who imagined God seeing all the sin in my life and being constantly disgusted with me; and I have to constantly preach the gospel to myself - that God sees Christ when he looks at me. That he worked a miracle in my desperately broken and defective soul when he created new life in me through Christ. That I am a new creation!
So this baby, while it may never know what a profound effect its existence has in its Mama's heart, will forever be in our lives a testimony to the redeeming work that Christ did on the cross. This baby will forever be a tangible reminder of the gospel - that God can take something so broken, like a sinful human soul, and create a beautiful new life.
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